How to manage difficult emotion and thought patterns
Managing difficult emotions and thoughts exercise
When going through difficult emotions or overwhelming though patterns we often have a tendency to avoid and suppress them at all costs, we are afraid of our difficult emotions and thoughts- which therapists call our inner shadow, is as if we think that by giving enough attention it will somehow overpower us.
We may start engaging in unhealthy habits such as over eating, drinking, smoking, watching too much tv, or any other avoidance strategy to distract us from how we really feel and stopping us from addressing our internal affairs.
What we need to understand is that just like a home needs some decluttering and cleaning time to time so does our mind, and the more we try to ignore the mess the more overwhelming it becomes, because guess what it gets to a point that the accumulation of clutter and dirty will start affect other areas of our life and make our daily life unbearable.
If you are ready to face your shadow and move forward the following exercise will help you to just do that, by helping you process your emotions and make peace with your thoughts. can use whenever you need help to go inwards and not only face ( face all the aspects of yourself) your shadow but also give it kindness and compassion in order to integrate and make peace with all aspects of yourself.
1. Find a quiet space where you can allow yourself some time to go inwards without any distractions or interruptions. Seat comfortably and allow yourself to just be, you may start by closing your eyes if you feel comfortable, connecting with your breathing, paying attention to any sensations in your body as you breath in and out. Take some time to breath in through your nose, and out through your mouth in slow deep inhales and exhales.
Once you feel more relaxed and ready to connect with your inner self go inwards and observe any feelings and thoughts that come up, just pay attention them by simply observing as they arise, no need to analyze them simply becoming aware of each thought and emotions.
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If there´s any difficult emotion take this opportunity to explore that emotion further, allowing yourself to feel the emotion fully and go to the centre of it if you feel ready, breathing in and breathing out.
Difficult emotions often arise from our thoughts, even if there was a specific event that triggered them is our thoughts, associations and meaning we give to the event that produce that emotion. By connecting to the emotion and going to its centre the event and thoughts that led to it will surface. You can ask your inner self what´s trying to communicate you, or why is it feeling that way.
- Once you discover which thoughts initiated the downward spiral write it down summarizing it in one or 2 phrase , there´s no need to write all chain of thoughts but what ultimately had an impact on you.
Then close your eyes and go inwards again, connect with your emotions again, and in your mind´s eye visualize that part of you within you that´s connected to those difficult emotions and thoughts – your inner shadow (However you imagine it looks like, there is no right or wrong) and allow it to freely express to you any worries, fears or concerns it may have. Listen to it in a compassionated, non-judgmental and understanding manner regardless of whatever comes up, even if that part of you says hurtful thing. Here you may realise that your subconscious and unconscious mind often diverge on beliefs, wants and wishes. ( read my articles on self – sabotage and uncovering unhelpful beliefs to find out more )
- Talk to your inner shadow and provide reassurance by saying things like; I understand why you feel this way, I Hear you, you have the right to feel that way, is ok to fell that way.
If your shadow is feeling really distressed by using your minds eye through visualisation you can allow it to scream and break things if that´s what your shadow needs.
Once you feel that your shadow has expressed everything it needed to express in the current moment you can say; I understand why you think that way, but this is not my thought or belief, tell your shadow that even though your understand the reason she feels and thinks that way and that ultimately she/he ultimately wants to protect you ask her/him to give you a chance and trust that you will act in your best interest, using your wise mind tell your shadow a more positive and likely realistic version of facts.
- Now that you have acknowledge, brought awareness and understanding to your shadow is time to set it free, visualise it leaving your chest through a tunnel of light sky going upwars up in to heaven where will be transmuted in to a loving energy. Take all the time you need until you feel lighter.
Take some time to observe any sensations in your body and allow yourself to rest in the peacefulness of the high vibrational energy you may be feeling right now, and when you are ready you may want to open your eyes.
I hope you find these helpful. I would love to hear from you if you had any insights whilst reading this article or if you tried the above exercise.